New On The Blog

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching! As a busy mom, Mother’s Day can sneak up on you with the chaos of end of the year school activities, home projects, and travel plans. Moms have a heart of gold and do not have expectations of presents, but we still love the gesture of gifting to make the day special and show our appreciation for everything she does for the family.

“We read a lot of articles and books about how to get through the engagement process, but no one ever talked to us about what it would be like the first year of our marriage. I wish we had known what to expect,” said one of the couples my husband and I mentor. This is a common comment, and if you find yourself having similar feelings, do not fret! You are not alone. The first year of marriage is fabulous, but it can also be difficult. Two people learning to become one does not happen overnight.

We all like to think we have good manners in marriage, but with the people that are closest to us, we can sometimes find ourselves slipping a bit. As stated by Cindy Grosso of the Charleston School of Protocol, manners are not about a bunch of rules. Manners are the outward manifestation of the condition of our heart. If we have a heart that loves, honors, respects, and cherishes our spouse, then these traits will show in how we behave.

Society is opening and people are resuming long overdue vacations. This is great news! I recently posted some tips on making your travels successful, but let’s focus on dos and don’ts of traveling with friends.

 

1. Boundaries: When traveling with others, set guidelines, boundaries, and expectations before leaving town. If you know you and your husband want one night to yourselves, express this up front. If a quiet breakfast in bed is necessary to start your day, see if this fits with the group’s schedule. 

The world is opening, and it is time to celebrate! One of the first things people are doing as they exercise their recaptured freedom is heading out of town to new destinations. I thought a few refresher tips on travel might be good for all of us.

Walking into the room, my husband pauses in front of the TV. Turning to me with a spoiler alert about my favorite Hallmark movie he says, “Hey Lisa…they get married.” And you know what? He’s right! The girl found her prince charming, and the couple has a happy ending, every time.

How many mornings have we left home in a state of utter chaos? Breakfast was late, children were crying, and we hurriedly throw on clothes from the night before only to realize how wrinkled we look. This mad dash makes for an unpleasant parting from our family and it is usually caused by a disorganized approach to our routine. So much of the bedlam we experience at the beginning of the day can be avoided if we are willing to implement a few tasks the night before.

The mamor (mother-in-law) and damor (daughter-in-law) relationship is meant to be beautiful and strong. In parts 1 and 2 of our series we learned why women in these roles might have certain feelings in their new family dynamics. Once we learned the “why” we then explored practical steps we can take to strengthen these special bonds. As we bring our series to a close, I want to impart some words of wisdom we all need to hear, and be reminded of, to ensure we create a healthy, life-long bond between the mamor/damor.

In part one of our series on the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship we learned why the women who find themselves in these roles often experience emotions ranging from pure joy to hurt and sadness. Once we discovered the answers, our understanding of this special relationship came into focus. We had an “aha” moment which makes our path forward easier to navigate.

Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

As Texas plunged into single digits with multiple days of a windchill below freezing, millions found themselves stranded with no power or water. Living along the Gulf Coast we have weathered hurricanes and endured power outages for much longer periods, but somehow this seemed different. Maybe for those of us close to the shoreline it was the unusual sight of snow we experienced as opposed to the natural disasters we usually face that arrive with rain, wind, and sweltering heat.

Our son and daughter (in law) were finally able to take a long-overdue honeymoon to St. Lucia in December. Cecelia interned one summer for a travel agent so naturally called the company to book their trip. What an incredible experience they had, and I was reminded WHY using a travel agent is worth the expense. Fees range depending on the service, but most charge between $300-350 to plan a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean Islands. 

Q: I will be a new mom soon, and I have been preparing for life “after” a newborn. There is a lot of information on raising babies, and how dads can support mom, but I cannot find much on how moms can support dads. A lot of my mental preparation has been around my marriage. Specific questions: How do I preserve my marriage? How do we embrace the changes? How do I maintain my husband as a priority when we have a tiny human demanding everything? How can I help my husband bond with our new child?

Want to set your children up for success? Then look no further than the habits of successful people you know, whether that be in the corporate world, media, or within your own circle of friends. Experts agree that there are certain common traits all successful people possess. This is great news because it means we can emulate those leaders that have come before us. 

Many of us grew up learning multitasking was a hallmark of a productive person. While sounding good in theory, this practice has proven to be incorrect. Studies now reveal that multitasking is nothing more than switching back and forth between tasks and it lowers our productivity. Below are 5 points that deal with the facts behind project hopping and the lack of performance that occurs when we allow seemingly innocuous interruptions to occur in daily life.

  • Alina Gersib

10 Ways to Support Yourself



Last week I wrote a blog about 10 Ways to Show up for Friends. In order to fully support our friends, though, we need to feel supported, too. Considering the massive shifts in work and life for millions of people during COVID the overall level of unpredictability has increased dramatically. For some, unpredictability does not bode well for health and wellbeing as it causes stress to spike. To bring just a bit of added peace, here are 10 ideas to give yourself some added support.

1. Surround Yourself – This one can go one of two ways. If you are an extrovert, facetime your friends or meet them for a walk at the park. If you tend to be more introverted grab your coziest blanket and a pile of books.

2. Cook Your Favorite Food – Food nourishes the soul. Is there a dish that you love but have not eaten in a while? Break out the tools you need, play some music while you cook, and enjoy the process.

3. Go on a Walk – A multi-faceted form of stress relief, walking provides low impact exercise as well as a time to process thoughts and enjoy nature.

4. Therapy – Speaking to a certified professional is one of the best ways to give yourself support. Therapy is a helpful tool to identify blind spots, heal past hurts, and receive perspective.

5. Consistent Rest – If you want to function at your highest level it is imperative to cultivate the habit of recuperative rest. With all the content on the internet, it is all too easy to be sucked into a Netflix or HBO binge and next thing you know it’s 1 am! If you go to bed at 10pm one night, 2am the next, and 11pm the following, your body will be scrambling to catch up. This causes you to not only be groggy but also increases irritability and moodiness. Your body craves regularity when it comes to sleep. Aim for having a set time to go to sleep and wake up, and try it for one week to see how you feel.

6. Speak Morning Affirmations – Affirmations are a powerful tool to speak life over yourself and focus your attention on areas of growth. If you do not know where to start I highly recommend using a tool like the Enneagram to help you pinpoint areas of growth. If you already know your Enneagram type here are some affirmations specific to each type.

7. Give Yourself Permission – Do you usually say yes to things even if you do not want to do them? Give yourself permission to say, “No.” This will instantly help if you are feeling excessive stress over your schedule.

8. Find a Fun DIY – There is a great sense of accomplishment that comes with making something yourself. Scour Pinterest and find a diy that catches your eye. Whether it is a painting tutorial, a string wall hanging, or a clay jewelry bowl, you are sure to find a fun project.

9. Complete That One Ever-Looming To-Do – You know what I am talking about. There always seems to be something on the to-do list that you keep putting off. For me it was mending a pair of yoga pants with a hole in the seam. I knew it would only take a few minutes when I sat down to do it, but I put it off for weeks. I finally fixed them the other day and it felt great to cross off my list!

10. Facial – I do not know about you but between stress and wearing a mask my face has not been happy with me lately. Whether you schedule a visit to the spa or just light a candle and wash dishes with a facial mask on at home, your skin will thank you. Give some extra time to taking care of it properly.

I hope these 10 ideas help you create space for yourself and find a bit more rest throughout your day.

Alina Gersib