New On The Blog

Society is opening and people are resuming long overdue vacations. This is great news! I recently posted some tips on making your travels successful, but let’s focus on dos and don’ts of traveling with friends.

 

1. Boundaries: When traveling with others, set guidelines, boundaries, and expectations before leaving town. If you know you and your husband want one night to yourselves, express this up front. If a quiet breakfast in bed is necessary to start your day, see if this fits with the group’s schedule. 

The world is opening, and it is time to celebrate! One of the first things people are doing as they exercise their recaptured freedom is heading out of town to new destinations. I thought a few refresher tips on travel might be good for all of us.

Walking into the room, my husband pauses in front of the TV. Turning to me with a spoiler alert about my favorite Hallmark movie he says, “Hey Lisa…they get married.” And you know what? He’s right! The girl found her prince charming, and the couple has a happy ending, every time.

How many mornings have we left home in a state of utter chaos? Breakfast was late, children were crying, and we hurriedly throw on clothes from the night before only to realize how wrinkled we look. This mad dash makes for an unpleasant parting from our family and it is usually caused by a disorganized approach to our routine. So much of the bedlam we experience at the beginning of the day can be avoided if we are willing to implement a few tasks the night before.

The mamor (mother-in-law) and damor (daughter-in-law) relationship is meant to be beautiful and strong. In parts 1 and 2 of our series we learned why women in these roles might have certain feelings in their new family dynamics. Once we learned the “why” we then explored practical steps we can take to strengthen these special bonds. As we bring our series to a close, I want to impart some words of wisdom we all need to hear, and be reminded of, to ensure we create a healthy, life-long bond between the mamor/damor.

In part one of our series on the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship we learned why the women who find themselves in these roles often experience emotions ranging from pure joy to hurt and sadness. Once we discovered the answers, our understanding of this special relationship came into focus. We had an “aha” moment which makes our path forward easier to navigate.

Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

As Texas plunged into single digits with multiple days of a windchill below freezing, millions found themselves stranded with no power or water. Living along the Gulf Coast we have weathered hurricanes and endured power outages for much longer periods, but somehow this seemed different. Maybe for those of us close to the shoreline it was the unusual sight of snow we experienced as opposed to the natural disasters we usually face that arrive with rain, wind, and sweltering heat.

Our son and daughter (in law) were finally able to take a long-overdue honeymoon to St. Lucia in December. Cecelia interned one summer for a travel agent so naturally called the company to book their trip. What an incredible experience they had, and I was reminded WHY using a travel agent is worth the expense. Fees range depending on the service, but most charge between $300-350 to plan a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean Islands. 

Q: I will be a new mom soon, and I have been preparing for life “after” a newborn. There is a lot of information on raising babies, and how dads can support mom, but I cannot find much on how moms can support dads. A lot of my mental preparation has been around my marriage. Specific questions: How do I preserve my marriage? How do we embrace the changes? How do I maintain my husband as a priority when we have a tiny human demanding everything? How can I help my husband bond with our new child?

Want to set your children up for success? Then look no further than the habits of successful people you know, whether that be in the corporate world, media, or within your own circle of friends. Experts agree that there are certain common traits all successful people possess. This is great news because it means we can emulate those leaders that have come before us. 

Many of us grew up learning multitasking was a hallmark of a productive person. While sounding good in theory, this practice has proven to be incorrect. Studies now reveal that multitasking is nothing more than switching back and forth between tasks and it lowers our productivity. Below are 5 points that deal with the facts behind project hopping and the lack of performance that occurs when we allow seemingly innocuous interruptions to occur in daily life.

  • Patti Hatton

The 5 Love Languages: Acts of Service

Updated: Dec 21, 2020



When David and I were first married, I could not help but notice the many unexpected things he did for me. I enjoyed having my car washed and opening the dishwasher to find everything had been put away. He did not mind helping me make the bed in the mornings, and I never had to remind him to take out the trash. My dad was the same way, so I decided this was normal behavior and took David for granted. However, overtime, I noticed David’s frustration when I went a few weeks without washing my car or I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. I took the attitude, “It’s my car. Why should he care?” “He has other shirts to wear. Why did he need what was at the cleaners right now?”


But the message David was receiving was disrespect. Clean cars matter to David and putting his freshly laundered shirts in his closet on a weekly basis made him feel valued and respected. While I appreciated the things David did for me, I did not receive the message of “you are special to me” when he emptied the dishwasher. I considered it to be a part of sharing household chores. All I wanted were words of affirmation and quality one-on-one time with him. His acts of service did not mean as much to me, because he was not speaking one of my top love languages.


When speaking a love language to your spouse (or in any relationship), it needs to be in the language they understand. We speak all 5 languages, but some are much higher on our list than others.


If acts of service are tops for your spouse, consider asking them to make a list of 4 things they would love for you to do. What would make their face light up? Does taking the initiative to bathe and put the children to bed give your spouse time to read or detox after a long day? Maybe they would love for you to take the initiative to bring dinner home. When acts of service are high on your partner’s list, being proactive becomes important. Serving with a joyful heart is also part of the package. If they sense you are dreading the chore, the effectiveness of your gesture will wane. The 5 Love Languages are just that – loving through language. And your love must be freely given. Acts of service is one way to make deposits into your marriage bank which ultimately will foster healthy relationships.


Patti Hatton, MA, LPC

www.pattihattoncounselor.com

Get rid of the noise in your life. Join Lisa Lou and receive commonsense, faith-based advice for the modern woman.

© 2021 Lisa Lou by Kaio

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Spotify