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Society is opening and people are resuming long overdue vacations. This is great news! I recently posted some tips on making your travels successful, but let’s focus on dos and don’ts of traveling with friends.

 

1. Boundaries: When traveling with others, set guidelines, boundaries, and expectations before leaving town. If you know you and your husband want one night to yourselves, express this up front. If a quiet breakfast in bed is necessary to start your day, see if this fits with the group’s schedule. 

The world is opening, and it is time to celebrate! One of the first things people are doing as they exercise their recaptured freedom is heading out of town to new destinations. I thought a few refresher tips on travel might be good for all of us.

Walking into the room, my husband pauses in front of the TV. Turning to me with a spoiler alert about my favorite Hallmark movie he says, “Hey Lisa…they get married.” And you know what? He’s right! The girl found her prince charming, and the couple has a happy ending, every time.

How many mornings have we left home in a state of utter chaos? Breakfast was late, children were crying, and we hurriedly throw on clothes from the night before only to realize how wrinkled we look. This mad dash makes for an unpleasant parting from our family and it is usually caused by a disorganized approach to our routine. So much of the bedlam we experience at the beginning of the day can be avoided if we are willing to implement a few tasks the night before.

The mamor (mother-in-law) and damor (daughter-in-law) relationship is meant to be beautiful and strong. In parts 1 and 2 of our series we learned why women in these roles might have certain feelings in their new family dynamics. Once we learned the “why” we then explored practical steps we can take to strengthen these special bonds. As we bring our series to a close, I want to impart some words of wisdom we all need to hear, and be reminded of, to ensure we create a healthy, life-long bond between the mamor/damor.

In part one of our series on the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship we learned why the women who find themselves in these roles often experience emotions ranging from pure joy to hurt and sadness. Once we discovered the answers, our understanding of this special relationship came into focus. We had an “aha” moment which makes our path forward easier to navigate.

Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

As Texas plunged into single digits with multiple days of a windchill below freezing, millions found themselves stranded with no power or water. Living along the Gulf Coast we have weathered hurricanes and endured power outages for much longer periods, but somehow this seemed different. Maybe for those of us close to the shoreline it was the unusual sight of snow we experienced as opposed to the natural disasters we usually face that arrive with rain, wind, and sweltering heat.

Our son and daughter (in law) were finally able to take a long-overdue honeymoon to St. Lucia in December. Cecelia interned one summer for a travel agent so naturally called the company to book their trip. What an incredible experience they had, and I was reminded WHY using a travel agent is worth the expense. Fees range depending on the service, but most charge between $300-350 to plan a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean Islands. 

Q: I will be a new mom soon, and I have been preparing for life “after” a newborn. There is a lot of information on raising babies, and how dads can support mom, but I cannot find much on how moms can support dads. A lot of my mental preparation has been around my marriage. Specific questions: How do I preserve my marriage? How do we embrace the changes? How do I maintain my husband as a priority when we have a tiny human demanding everything? How can I help my husband bond with our new child?

Want to set your children up for success? Then look no further than the habits of successful people you know, whether that be in the corporate world, media, or within your own circle of friends. Experts agree that there are certain common traits all successful people possess. This is great news because it means we can emulate those leaders that have come before us. 

Many of us grew up learning multitasking was a hallmark of a productive person. While sounding good in theory, this practice has proven to be incorrect. Studies now reveal that multitasking is nothing more than switching back and forth between tasks and it lowers our productivity. Below are 5 points that deal with the facts behind project hopping and the lack of performance that occurs when we allow seemingly innocuous interruptions to occur in daily life.

  • Lisa Lou

Bullet Journal: Staying Organized




The way my husband structures his day is different from how I organize mine, but there is one thing we both do. We start with a morning routine. I make coffee, read the news while eating my breakfast, and then dive into an hour of bible study. Once I finish, I pull out my journal and plan my day. About 2 years ago I discovered an organizational method that resonated with me. Showcasing the differences, my husband has his day planned via an electronic method. I tried this for several years, but I need to gather my thoughts with pen and paper. I am a tactile person, and I finally gave myself permission to go back to a notebook. What a difference this has made in my productivity!


No matter what method you use, a common trait of all successful people when it comes to a daily schedule is putting boundaries around their time. I want to share how I structure my day. I use The Bullet Journal Method. There is great freedom in this system, so do not let my way be a “must” in how you approach this. Part of the process is figuring out what works best for you. Let me also say a lot of people spend a great deal of time color coding and decorating their journals. I do not. Mine is very utilitarian. Do what you enjoy. There is no right or wrong way. Let me walk you through my journal.


1. Obituary: On the first blank page, I have written my obituary. What??? I learned this tip from Donald Miller, CEO of StoryBrand, in a course I took about establishing a daily routine. It might sound crazy, but it is life changing. If you read your obituary each morning, you will stay focused on the goals you are working to accomplish. I have 3 main accomplishments I would like my family and friends to say about me when I die. If I am going to reach these goals, then I better use each day productively and in service toward that end. My focus might change over the years, and if so, I will re-write my eulogy.


2. Future Log: Twice a year I do a massive brain dump in my journal. I write down everything I want to accomplish, books I want to read, projects I want to work on, recipes I want to make, etc. If it pops in my mind, even something I want to do 5 years from now, I write it down. I capture all of this in my Future Log pages. The point of this is to clear your mind. A clear mind functions more efficiently when there is not clutter clogging the brain.


3. Monthly Calendar: After the Future Log is complete, I create a page for each month of that calendar year. I look at the Future Log and assign every item a month. If one item I wrote in my Future Log was create Christmas cards, then I can put that in the month of September as an item to accomplish (because I do these several months before December). Buy my husband a birthday gift is on my Future Log. Where would that go? His birthday is at the end of July, so I will put this action to be completed in the month of July. Every item that enters your brain, which you then dump onto the Future Log, can be assigned a month. If you write a goal to accomplish something 5 years from now, just leave it in the Future Log. You do not need to assign it a month unless you need to begin taking baby steps toward accomplishing that goal. You can roll this into a Future Log for the following year.



4. Weekly Calendar: My Future Log is now organized by months. At the beginning of each week, I look only at the month in which I am in. I decide what tasks I will accomplish this week based on that month. Why only look at that month? It gets rid of the noise from all the other months. If I had to look at my entire Future Log every week, I would stay in a state of chaos and feel completely overwhelmed.


5. Daily Calendar: Now it is time to create the daily calendar. Each morning, after my quiet time, I pull out my journal and ONLY look at my weekly calendar. Why? Same reason as in #4. If I looked at the entire month, I would become overwhelmed. I only look at the items I will accomplish this week. Based on my weekly calendar, I write my tasks for the day. This is where I get more specific, and more critical, as to where I will spend my time. “People who trust fate are often confused and filled with regret. God did not hand you a television to watch, he handed you a script to write,” Donald Miller. Your life is one big story, but you start with a blank script. Either you will write your story, or you will give the power to someone else to write your story. Structure your life in such a way that each day brings meaning and takes you further into the parable of your life. “Social media is great at drawing you into their story. Don’t live someone else’s story. Live your story. Turn off the TV, don’t waste time on Netflix. Don’t live someone else’s story. Live YOUR story,” says Miller. If we do not schedule our day, then the whirlwind of life eats away at our time. When we take a break at 10a.m. to check social media, suddenly we look up and an hour has passed by. Did that hour help write your story? Or did being an observer in what others are doing just cost you an hour of your own life? Having a daily calendar that keeps you focused on creating your story has proven to be the most successful approach to time management.


6. Format of Daily Calendar: I divide my daily calendar into three parts:

a. Morning Routine

i. Breakfast/News 6:30-7:30a.m.

ii. Quiet Time/Bible Reading 7:30-8:30a.m.

iii. Exercise/Get Dressed 8:30-9:30a.m.

b. My Story

i. Write “Success” blog series

ii. Edit contributing writer article

iii. Record ad

c. Tasks

i. Pick up cleaning

ii. Meet with architect

iii. Set doctor’s appointment


Morning Routine: This is how I start my day. I try to stick with the time allotted, but I give myself some grace in this area. Having a written timeframe helps me stay on track, though.


My Story: This is where I work on items dealing with my obituary. (Yep, always sounds weird and feels even weirder to write! I might change this to My Graduation Story.). Remember, your obituary keeps you focused on what you want to accomplish in life. What story am I writing? Running to the cleaners does not get me closer to my goals. Yes, the cleaning needs to be picked up, but if I get it tomorrow vs today, is it really that important? Yet, if I let all the mundane tasks of life override My Story, then this becomes a day wasted. I write three things each day I want to accomplish for My Story. If I find I can do more, then I go to my weekly calendar and choose a fourth item. Sometimes I only finish two items, and that is alright. I will just roll it over to the next day. Once I finish the items under My Story, then I move to the Tasks.


Tasks: Tasks include the more mundane items that must be tackled each day: errands, doctor’s appointments. It can also be items that do not require as much brain power: dinner with a friend, attending your child’s soccer game, volunteering at your church food drive. If you are in the corporate world, tasks might be weekly internal office meetings. They are necessary to keep things moving forward, but they do not help you in your story. Your My Story items in the corporate world would be actions that help you write your work story: creating the long-term growth plan for the business, landing the large client. It is best to put the My Story items before Tasks, because these require more brain cells. By the time the afternoon rolls around, you are fatigued and will not be bringing your A game. (Some people are more alert in the afternoon, but for the majority, this is the best approach).


Filtering my day by categorizing items as My Story or Tasks helps me focus on what is important. Putting boundaries around my day also helps me say NO to distractions, interruptions, and when others put unsolicited demands on my time. Learning to say NO is a big step that must be mastered if you are going to make progress in your story.


“Freud said man’s motivation is for pleasure. Victor Frankel said, ‘No, Freud is wrong. Man’s motivation is for meaning, and when man cannot find meaning he numbs himself with pleasure.’”-Donald Miller.

Pleasure is fleeting. Meaning is what gives us the fuel we need to persevere.


“Who is casting the vision for your life? You? Some other institution? Or somebody else? If you give control over your life to someone else (or to fate), then they are responsible for the outcome. If you have control of your own life, then you are responsible for the outcome. God gave us freedom over our lives to write our own story. This scares some people. They rather be told what to do. What we really fear is the responsibility. I don’t want you to see it as a responsibility. I want you to see it as fun. Creating your own story, with all the success and failures, is fun.” -Miller


I look forward to creating my calendar. I love doing the brain dump for the year, and it feels good to organize my life in a way that keeps me focused on the story God has given me to write. If you wake up each day with purpose, you will find meaning in your life. It is time to write your own story and stop living someone else’s life. Here’s to successful planning!


Together with you,

Lisa Lou

Get rid of the noise in your life. Join Lisa Lou and receive commonsense, faith-based advice for the modern woman.

© 2021 Lisa Lou by Kaio

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