New On The Blog

Today, where we see every form of fashion on our streets, the question of men and shorts still produces uncertainty among many. There is a reason for this that is embedded in our DNA, and to fully understand we need to explore a little history.

“What are the main table manners children should know?” A common question I am frequently asked. Yet I have a tough time narrowing my answer. I pick my top three, then a fourth pops into my mind. Then a fifth. We may not all attend black-tie events, but we do all eat. Your children will one day be placed in a situation where they need to skillfully know their way around a dining table.

As we approach Mother’s Day, I would like to take a special look at the precious women in our lives that hold the title of Mother-in-law. Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

I recently asked a group of college students these questions showing them the same photos. I had them shout out adjectives for the pictures they were viewing. For the home I heard: beautiful; wealthy; cared for; loving family; a place I want to live. For the broken-down home they said: old; no curb appeal; I wouldn’t go near it; scary; unstable.

“Rules without reason equals rebellion.” -Cynthia Grosso, Charleston School of Protocol. This could be my motto! I have a stubborn streak that can serve me well, but when it gets me into trouble, I just blame it on my DNA. No matter the reason, I am not the best rule follower unless I know why a rule was created. 

Remove your hat! Don’t set it on the table! Never let someone see the lining! Women, keep your hat on! Women, take your hat off! Ahhh…..I’m so confused!!! The old rules of hat etiquette were so straight forward, and everyone knew what to do. A gentleman removing his hat inside a building was as second nature as brushing his teeth. In today’s changing society, there is much confusion about hat etiquette, for both men and women, so let’s solve this mystery by starting with the “why” of hat protocol.

Do you find your spouse often saying, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you feel your child is not being an active part of the dinner conversation. If this resonates with you, it might be time to brush up on the finer points of being a good listener, while teaching your family to do the same. Below are 11 tips to help you get back on track so you can start enjoying deeper and more meaningful communication with those you love.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 ESV).

 

When I am tired and my mind does not seem to focus on a deep study of the Bible, I will flip to Proverbs to keep focused on God’s Word in a more simplistic way. Yet, every time I read this book, I walk away amazed at the power it brings and thankful for the renewal I feel. The verse I read today really resonated with me.

As a stay-at-home mom to 2 toddlers, a large part of my day is spent in the kitchen preparing food. Meal planning at the beginning of the week is essential to ensuring my family is well fed with home cooked nutrition (I give myself a break on the weekends)! If you get overwhelmed with meal planning like I used to, try these tips to sooth your soul:

As a wife and mother of two rambunctious toddlers, it is a challenge to get a home-cooked dinner on the table at a reasonable time. Pulling the children away from their toys, getting them seated at the table, cutting up their meal, blowing on food that is too hot, and calling my husband away from his work can be exhausting.

Sometimes you just need to re-post tips that were great to read. I find myself saying this quite often when it comes to The Gottman Institute. They are some of the leading relationship experts in our country, and the research they did on trustworthiness is very informative.

Meeting friends for dinner after work, grabbing coffee with your girlfriend or just ordering pizza on a Friday night with neighbors. We all have a deep desire to be connected in a world that often forgets the importance of relationships. Many of us have the desire to entertain, but we let our circumstances keep us from extending hospitality. Often it revolves around our lack of confidence in our ability to host events. I get this!

A perfect entertaining year for me would be hosting a different themed party each month! Will I do that? No. Will I dream about it? Yes! If I cannot have a party every 4 weeks, I can at least help my Lisa Lou family with ideas so hopefully a few of you can carry the torch of hospitality for the rest of us.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

  • Lisa Lou

Bullet Journal: Staying Organized




The way my husband structures his day is different from how I organize mine, but there is one thing we both do. We start with a morning routine. I make coffee, read the news while eating my breakfast, and then dive into an hour of bible study. Once I finish, I pull out my journal and plan my day. About 2 years ago I discovered an organizational method that resonated with me. Showcasing the differences, my husband has his day planned via an electronic method. I tried this for several years, but I need to gather my thoughts with pen and paper. I am a tactile person, and I finally gave myself permission to go back to a notebook. What a difference this has made in my productivity!


No matter what method you use, a common trait of all successful people when it comes to a daily schedule is putting boundaries around their time. I want to share how I structure my day. I use The Bullet Journal Method. There is great freedom in this system, so do not let my way be a “must” in how you approach this. Part of the process is figuring out what works best for you. Let me also say a lot of people spend a great deal of time color coding and decorating their journals. I do not. Mine is very utilitarian. Do what you enjoy. There is no right or wrong way. Let me walk you through my journal.


1. Obituary: On the first blank page, I have written my obituary. What??? I learned this tip from Donald Miller, CEO of StoryBrand, in a course I took about establishing a daily routine. It might sound crazy, but it is life changing. If you read your obituary each morning, you will stay focused on the goals you are working to accomplish. I have 3 main accomplishments I would like my family and friends to say about me when I die. If I am going to reach these goals, then I better use each day productively and in service toward that end. My focus might change over the years, and if so, I will re-write my eulogy.


2. Future Log: Twice a year I do a massive brain dump in my journal. I write down everything I want to accomplish, books I want to read, projects I want to work on, recipes I want to make, etc. If it pops in my mind, even something I want to do 5 years from now, I write it down. I capture all of this in my Future Log pages. The point of this is to clear your mind. A clear mind functions more efficiently when there is not clutter clogging the brain.


3. Monthly Calendar: After the Future Log is complete, I create a page for each month of that calendar year. I look at the Future Log and assign every item a month. If one item I wrote in my Future Log was create Christmas cards, then I can put that in the month of September as an item to accomplish (because I do these several months before December). Buy my husband a birthday gift is on my Future Log. Where would that go? His birthday is at the end of July, so I will put this action to be completed in the month of July. Every item that enters your brain, which you then dump onto the Future Log, can be assigned a month. If you write a goal to accomplish something 5 years from now, just leave it in the Future Log. You do not need to assign it a month unless you need to begin taking baby steps toward accomplishing that goal. You can roll this into a Future Log for the following year.



4. Weekly Calendar: My Future Log is now organized by months. At the beginning of each week, I look only at the month in which I am in. I decide what tasks I will accomplish this week based on that month. Why only look at that month? It gets rid of the noise from all the other months. If I had to look at my entire Future Log every week, I would stay in a state of chaos and feel completely overwhelmed.


5. Daily Calendar: Now it is time to create the daily calendar. Each morning, after my quiet time, I pull out my journal and ONLY look at my weekly calendar. Why? Same reason as in #4. If I looked at the entire month, I would become overwhelmed. I only look at the items I will accomplish this week. Based on my weekly calendar, I write my tasks for the day. This is where I get more specific, and more critical, as to where I will spend my time. “People who trust fate are often confused and filled with regret. God did not hand you a television to watch, he handed you a script to write,” Donald Miller. Your life is one big story, but you start with a blank script. Either you will write your story, or you will give the power to someone else to write your story. Structure your life in such a way that each day brings meaning and takes you further into the parable of your life. “Social media is great at drawing you into their story. Don’t live someone else’s story. Live your story. Turn off the TV, don’t waste time on Netflix. Don’t live someone else’s story. Live YOUR story,” says Miller. If we do not schedule our day, then the whirlwind of life eats away at our time. When we take a break at 10a.m. to check social media, suddenly we look up and an hour has passed by. Did that hour help write your story? Or did being an observer in what others are doing just cost you an hour of your own life? Having a daily calendar that keeps you focused on creating your story has proven to be the most successful approach to time management.


6. Format of Daily Calendar: I divide my daily calendar into three parts:

a. Morning Routine

i. Breakfast/News 6:30-7:30a.m.

ii. Quiet Time/Bible Reading 7:30-8:30a.m.

iii. Exercise/Get Dressed 8:30-9:30a.m.

b. My Story

i. Write “Success” blog series

ii. Edit contributing writer article

iii. Record ad

c. Tasks

i. Pick up cleaning

ii. Meet with architect

iii. Set doctor’s appointment


Morning Routine: This is how I start my day. I try to stick with the time allotted, but I give myself some grace in this area. Having a written timeframe helps me stay on track, though.


My Story: This is where I work on items dealing with my obituary. (Yep, always sounds weird and feels even weirder to write! I might change this to My Graduation Story.). Remember, your obituary keeps you focused on what you want to accomplish in life. What story am I writing? Running to the cleaners does not get me closer to my goals. Yes, the cleaning needs to be picked up, but if I get it tomorrow vs today, is it really that important? Yet, if I let all the mundane tasks of life override My Story, then this becomes a day wasted. I write three things each day I want to accomplish for My Story. If I find I can do more, then I go to my weekly calendar and choose a fourth item. Sometimes I only finish two items, and that is alright. I will just roll it over to the next day. Once I finish the items under My Story, then I move to the Tasks.


Tasks: Tasks include the more mundane items that must be tackled each day: errands, doctor’s appointments. It can also be items that do not require as much brain power: dinner with a friend, attending your child’s soccer game, volunteering at your church food drive. If you are in the corporate world, tasks might be weekly internal office meetings. They are necessary to keep things moving forward, but they do not help you in your story. Your My Story items in the corporate world would be actions that help you write your work story: creating the long-term growth plan for the business, landing the large client. It is best to put the My Story items before Tasks, because these require more brain cells. By the time the afternoon rolls around, you are fatigued and will not be bringing your A game. (Some people are more alert in the afternoon, but for the majority, this is the best approach).


Filtering my day by categorizing items as My Story or Tasks helps me focus on what is important. Putting boundaries around my day also helps me say NO to distractions, interruptions, and when others put unsolicited demands on my time. Learning to say NO is a big step that must be mastered if you are going to make progress in your story.


“Freud said man’s motivation is for pleasure. Victor Frankel said, ‘No, Freud is wrong. Man’s motivation is for meaning, and when man cannot find meaning he numbs himself with pleasure.’”-Donald Miller.

Pleasure is fleeting. Meaning is what gives us the fuel we need to persevere.


“Who is casting the vision for your life? You? Some other institution? Or somebody else? If you give control over your life to someone else (or to fate), then they are responsible for the outcome. If you have control of your own life, then you are responsible for the outcome. God gave us freedom over our lives to write our own story. This scares some people. They rather be told what to do. What we really fear is the responsibility. I don’t want you to see it as a responsibility. I want you to see it as fun. Creating your own story, with all the success and failures, is fun.” -Miller


I look forward to creating my calendar. I love doing the brain dump for the year, and it feels good to organize my life in a way that keeps me focused on the story God has given me to write. If you wake up each day with purpose, you will find meaning in your life. It is time to write your own story and stop living someone else’s life. Here’s to successful planning!


Together with you,

Lisa Lou