New On The Blog

Today, where we see every form of fashion on our streets, the question of men and shorts still produces uncertainty among many. There is a reason for this that is embedded in our DNA, and to fully understand we need to explore a little history.

“What are the main table manners children should know?” A common question I am frequently asked. Yet I have a tough time narrowing my answer. I pick my top three, then a fourth pops into my mind. Then a fifth. We may not all attend black-tie events, but we do all eat. Your children will one day be placed in a situation where they need to skillfully know their way around a dining table.

As we approach Mother’s Day, I would like to take a special look at the precious women in our lives that hold the title of Mother-in-law. Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

I recently asked a group of college students these questions showing them the same photos. I had them shout out adjectives for the pictures they were viewing. For the home I heard: beautiful; wealthy; cared for; loving family; a place I want to live. For the broken-down home they said: old; no curb appeal; I wouldn’t go near it; scary; unstable.

“Rules without reason equals rebellion.” -Cynthia Grosso, Charleston School of Protocol. This could be my motto! I have a stubborn streak that can serve me well, but when it gets me into trouble, I just blame it on my DNA. No matter the reason, I am not the best rule follower unless I know why a rule was created. 

Remove your hat! Don’t set it on the table! Never let someone see the lining! Women, keep your hat on! Women, take your hat off! Ahhh…..I’m so confused!!! The old rules of hat etiquette were so straight forward, and everyone knew what to do. A gentleman removing his hat inside a building was as second nature as brushing his teeth. In today’s changing society, there is much confusion about hat etiquette, for both men and women, so let’s solve this mystery by starting with the “why” of hat protocol.

Do you find your spouse often saying, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you feel your child is not being an active part of the dinner conversation. If this resonates with you, it might be time to brush up on the finer points of being a good listener, while teaching your family to do the same. Below are 11 tips to help you get back on track so you can start enjoying deeper and more meaningful communication with those you love.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 ESV).

 

When I am tired and my mind does not seem to focus on a deep study of the Bible, I will flip to Proverbs to keep focused on God’s Word in a more simplistic way. Yet, every time I read this book, I walk away amazed at the power it brings and thankful for the renewal I feel. The verse I read today really resonated with me.

As a stay-at-home mom to 2 toddlers, a large part of my day is spent in the kitchen preparing food. Meal planning at the beginning of the week is essential to ensuring my family is well fed with home cooked nutrition (I give myself a break on the weekends)! If you get overwhelmed with meal planning like I used to, try these tips to sooth your soul:

As a wife and mother of two rambunctious toddlers, it is a challenge to get a home-cooked dinner on the table at a reasonable time. Pulling the children away from their toys, getting them seated at the table, cutting up their meal, blowing on food that is too hot, and calling my husband away from his work can be exhausting.

Sometimes you just need to re-post tips that were great to read. I find myself saying this quite often when it comes to The Gottman Institute. They are some of the leading relationship experts in our country, and the research they did on trustworthiness is very informative.

Meeting friends for dinner after work, grabbing coffee with your girlfriend or just ordering pizza on a Friday night with neighbors. We all have a deep desire to be connected in a world that often forgets the importance of relationships. Many of us have the desire to entertain, but we let our circumstances keep us from extending hospitality. Often it revolves around our lack of confidence in our ability to host events. I get this!

A perfect entertaining year for me would be hosting a different themed party each month! Will I do that? No. Will I dream about it? Yes! If I cannot have a party every 4 weeks, I can at least help my Lisa Lou family with ideas so hopefully a few of you can carry the torch of hospitality for the rest of us.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

  • Lisa Lou

Making Overnight Guests Feel Welcome



It is summer in Houston, and last night our bedroom A/C went kaput! My first reaction was to grumble, but then I reminded myself to “choose happiness!” I was thankful we had a guestroom to sleep in that had cool air and a fan. As we crawled into an unfamiliar bed, I was quickly reminded of the times I preached to others: “Every good hostess should sleep in her own guestroom for one full night. You will immediately see what is missing!” As my husband and I kept rolling to the middle of the mattress and shivered under a comforter that was too thin, I made a new list for myself: new mattress that does not sink; more blankets for the bed.

With the arrival of summer and overnight guests making weekend trips, I thought we could all use a refresher on the best way to make friends and family feel welcome the moment they show up at your front door.

In General:

The most important action is clear the house of clutter. This does not mean the entire home needs organizing, but specifically focus on areas where you know your guests will see.

Next, “live” in the area for a little while. This is most important where your guests will be sleeping. As mentioned above, before overnight visitors arrive, I encourage you to sleep in the room. Almost instantaneously, you will become aware of issues. Not just what is missing, but maybe repairs that need to be made or nighttime noises that need to be fixed (a rickety fan or knocking heater). Ask yourself if you have everything you need when getting ready in the guest bathroom. By doing a simple walk through, most things that are missing will jump out.

Below are the three areas I focus on when I have house guests. You may need to include other areas, but I hope this will be a starting point to help you make your home bed and breakfast worthy!


GUEST BEDROOM:

Wash Sheets

Extra blanket on the bed: Body temperatures vary greatly. What is cold to one is hot to another.

Catch-all tray: Some place to put jewelry, keys, and money.

Bowl of fruit and snacks: It can be hard being a guest in someone else’s home. It is a nice gesture to provide for their gastric needs in the privacy of their bedroom. I stick with protein items like nuts and satiating fruit in the way of bananas and apples.

Breath mints: Always a hit. The bowl is usually empty when the guests depart.

Water bottles: These do not need to be iced. Just put 2-4 on a table next to the snacks.

Docking station by the bed

Fresh flowers: Place these by the snacks, water bottles, and catch-all tray. It makes a very welcoming display.

Luggage rack: You can order these online or find very inexpensive ones at resale shops. This shows guests you thought about every need.

Magazines or a visitor’s guide: I created a tour guidebook that I place on the bed. Even if there is no time for sight-seeing, it is good reading material before falling asleep and helps educate guests on all your town has to offer.

TV remote with instructions/Wi-fi passcode: Having these typed and laminated next to the TV is a nice touch. It will be one of the first things guests ask you for, so cut out this step and provide it ahead of time.


House shoes and robe: We have a lot of overnight guests, and these items are often left at home. I keep two washable guest robes hanging in the closet along with disposable house shoes that I buy in bulk.

Coffee station in room: If you have the space, guests love this! For the coffee lovers among us, we would prefer to have a sip of that first cup before our feet hit the floor. Guests love when they can enjoy this ritual without having to dress and join the others in the kitchen.

Spray with fabric freshener: Once I set up the guestroom, I spray all upholstery and the bed. I usually go with a non-scent version.

Overhead lights off and lamps turned on: I do not like overhead lights. Unless I can dim them. They are usually too harsh and can raise the temperature of the room. The ambiance will be more welcoming if they remain off and bedside lamps are turned on when guests arrive.

Candle lit: The sight of fire is welcoming. Another reason I use a non-scented fabric freshener is so the candle can do its work. Stick with something mild. Not everyone likes strong scents.

Music playing: Soft music playing in the background is the added cherry on top. With this final act you have now touched all 5 senses in the room.


BATHROOM READY:

Bathroom travel size toiletries: Place a tray in the guest bathroom with shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, mouthwash, soap, and a disposable razor.

Fresh towels placed on bed or bathroom counter: For each guest I provide two large towels, a hand towel, and a washcloth. If you normally store these in the cabinets, pull them out. Guests are often hesitant to rummage through private areas.

Hair dryer/curling iron: Another big bonus! Hotels carry these in most rooms, so make your guests feel they are in a beautiful boutique with all the trimmings. If you do not provide it, they will be asking to borrow yours!

Extra toilet paper: Do I need to explain? Another nice touch: fold the tips into an arrow shape on the roll so guests know they are the first to use the loo upon arrival.

KITCHEN READY:

Set up coffee bar: Although you may or may not set one up in the guest room, it is a must to have one in the kitchen. We all have preferences when it comes to preparing our coffee, so provide the basic ingredients and let guests make their own: cream, sweetener, cinnamon, spoons, cups, saucers, coffee ready and piping hot.

Set up breakfast bar: Unless you are preparing a big breakfast, make it easy for your guests to grab items for themselves: individual cereal packages; carafe of milk, orange juice and water; coffee bar; breakfast bars; yogurt cups; bagels; cream cheese; toaster; plates; utensils that are needed.


ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES WITH GUESTS:

Whenever I encounter hostesses that have not had a good experience with guests, it often revolves around a lack of boundaries. People tend to shy away from telling friends what they can and cannot do in their home, but not doing so is a recipe for disaster. The motto you hear me repeatedly say, “To be unclear is to be unkind,” is extra important when sharing space with others. Your guests want to be informed, too, because most are trying to be on their best behavior. How can they live up to your expectations if they do not know what you want? Here are a few tips for setting boundaries:

Breakfast: If guests are on their own for breakfast, show them where everything will be stationed and tell them to help themselves when they wake up.

Pets: If you have animals and do not feed them human food, let your guests know. Otherwise Fido may be enjoying scraps from the table.

Set limit on length of visit: Before guests arrive, set a time limit on how long they may visit.

What they can expect from you: Let them know before they arrive if you can entertain them, or not. It might be a work week for you, and you are unable to hit the town and stay up until 3a.m. Manage their expectations.

Should they provide their own food? If you do not want to flip the bill, then discuss how meals are divided before they arrive. Maybe grocery shop together and split the bill. In whatever way you decide to handle this, do it before they arrive.

No smoking: Self-explanatory if you have a no smoking rule.

Bedtime: As the host, if you cannot stay up all hours of the night, explain to your house guests that you usually turn in around 10p.m. (or whatever time it is). If guests stay during the week, setting this boundary is particularly important because you might have work the next day.

Sleeping arrangements: Explain to guests where they will stay before they arrive. If you only have a couch to offer, make sure they know. They might choose to stay in a hotel.

Do not touch the A/C: You might not care if guests adjust the air, but you might. Maybe you are on a budget with your electric bill and only run the unit certain hours of the day. Whatever the reason if you have house rules regarding the A/C let the guests know.

What food are they allowed to eat: Unless you want guests eating you out of house and home, designate an area in your kitchen with snacks where they can feel free to partake. I also set aside one shelf in my refrigerator. I tell them anything on that shelf they are welcome to have.

Recycle bin: If you have one, show your guests so they can help you recycle.

Upon departing: Ask your guests to strip the beds and leave the sheets and towels in the washroom.

Miscellaneous requests: Every family has their own guidelines. Your guests want to know. When we are in the mountains of North Carolina, one of our guest guidelines is: No Food Left Outside—Bears!

Most guests want to respect your boundaries, but if they do not know what those are, how will they know if they have been crossed? This leaves everyone unhappy. Manage expectations upfront, and your friends will leave with great memories, and hopefully an invitation to return.

Together with you,

Lisa Lou