New On The Blog

Today, where we see every form of fashion on our streets, the question of men and shorts still produces uncertainty among many. There is a reason for this that is embedded in our DNA, and to fully understand we need to explore a little history.

“What are the main table manners children should know?” A common question I am frequently asked. Yet I have a tough time narrowing my answer. I pick my top three, then a fourth pops into my mind. Then a fifth. We may not all attend black-tie events, but we do all eat. Your children will one day be placed in a situation where they need to skillfully know their way around a dining table.

As we approach Mother’s Day, I would like to take a special look at the precious women in our lives that hold the title of Mother-in-law. Do you remember the movie Monster-in-Law? It starred Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda in a romantic comedy centered around the tumultuous relationship between a bride and her future mother-in-law. If you have not seen it, you should. It will keep you laughing but, sadly, may hit closer to home than you would like to admit.

I recently asked a group of college students these questions showing them the same photos. I had them shout out adjectives for the pictures they were viewing. For the home I heard: beautiful; wealthy; cared for; loving family; a place I want to live. For the broken-down home they said: old; no curb appeal; I wouldn’t go near it; scary; unstable.

“Rules without reason equals rebellion.” -Cynthia Grosso, Charleston School of Protocol. This could be my motto! I have a stubborn streak that can serve me well, but when it gets me into trouble, I just blame it on my DNA. No matter the reason, I am not the best rule follower unless I know why a rule was created. 

Remove your hat! Don’t set it on the table! Never let someone see the lining! Women, keep your hat on! Women, take your hat off! Ahhh…..I’m so confused!!! The old rules of hat etiquette were so straight forward, and everyone knew what to do. A gentleman removing his hat inside a building was as second nature as brushing his teeth. In today’s changing society, there is much confusion about hat etiquette, for both men and women, so let’s solve this mystery by starting with the “why” of hat protocol.

Do you find your spouse often saying, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you feel your child is not being an active part of the dinner conversation. If this resonates with you, it might be time to brush up on the finer points of being a good listener, while teaching your family to do the same. Below are 11 tips to help you get back on track so you can start enjoying deeper and more meaningful communication with those you love.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 ESV).

 

When I am tired and my mind does not seem to focus on a deep study of the Bible, I will flip to Proverbs to keep focused on God’s Word in a more simplistic way. Yet, every time I read this book, I walk away amazed at the power it brings and thankful for the renewal I feel. The verse I read today really resonated with me.

As a stay-at-home mom to 2 toddlers, a large part of my day is spent in the kitchen preparing food. Meal planning at the beginning of the week is essential to ensuring my family is well fed with home cooked nutrition (I give myself a break on the weekends)! If you get overwhelmed with meal planning like I used to, try these tips to sooth your soul:

As a wife and mother of two rambunctious toddlers, it is a challenge to get a home-cooked dinner on the table at a reasonable time. Pulling the children away from their toys, getting them seated at the table, cutting up their meal, blowing on food that is too hot, and calling my husband away from his work can be exhausting.

Sometimes you just need to re-post tips that were great to read. I find myself saying this quite often when it comes to The Gottman Institute. They are some of the leading relationship experts in our country, and the research they did on trustworthiness is very informative.

Meeting friends for dinner after work, grabbing coffee with your girlfriend or just ordering pizza on a Friday night with neighbors. We all have a deep desire to be connected in a world that often forgets the importance of relationships. Many of us have the desire to entertain, but we let our circumstances keep us from extending hospitality. Often it revolves around our lack of confidence in our ability to host events. I get this!

A perfect entertaining year for me would be hosting a different themed party each month! Will I do that? No. Will I dream about it? Yes! If I cannot have a party every 4 weeks, I can at least help my Lisa Lou family with ideas so hopefully a few of you can carry the torch of hospitality for the rest of us.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for. Read that again.

You are not allowed to complain about not getting something that you never asked for.

  • Lisa Lou

Take the Stress out of Your Morning Routine



How many mornings have we left home in a state of utter chaos? Breakfast was late, children were crying, and we hurriedly throw on clothes from the night before only to realize how wrinkled we look. This mad dash makes for an unpleasant parting from our family and it is usually caused by a disorganized approach to our routine. So much of the bedlam we experience at the beginning of the day can be avoided if we are willing to implement a few tasks the night before. Once I began taking these simple steps, it was amazing how pleasant everything became. I also picked up more time, which, ultimately meant I was not dumping stress onto my family. It was a win/win for everyone! If you want a better start to your day, here are some tips my family has incorporated to make our mornings run more smoothly.


The night before:


1. Lay out all clothes for the next day, including undergarments and accessories. I have two 3M hooks stuck to the inside of a cabinet door. I hang my pants or skirt on the bottom hook and my blouse or sweater on the top hook. I then coordinate my jewelry and all accessories and attach them to the hanger followed by placing my shoes on the cabinet floor. Don’t forget the undergarments! These are also draped over the hanger. Too many times I have spent precious minutes searching for my strapless bra “I could have sworn” was in that drawer. By laying everything out the night before, you can avoid that “what will I wear” stumbling block that inevitably derails your morning.


2. If any of your clothes are wrinkled, take care of this when you are organizing your outfit for the next day. I prefer to steam my clothes, so I keep a steamer in my closet for easy access.


3. Check the weather for the next day. Will you need a coat or an umbrella? If so, pull this out.


4. Does your breakfast require any prep work? I love to eat Teff each morning (my favorite grain). I will make up a large casserole dish on Sunday that stays fresh throughout the week. I also make a batch of scrambled eggs that can last a few days. They may not be “day of” fresh, but it works for me and saves prep time.


5. Is your coffee station ready to go? I have a self-grinding machine, so I make sure the beans are in the hopper, the water is in the tank, a fresh paper filter is in place, and my coffee mug is out. I like to set the timer, so the coffee is ready to go when I walk into the kitchen. If you use sweeteners or creamer, have those ready, along with your spoon. When everything is in one place, and you are not running to one drawer for a utensil and another cabinet for a mug, it makes for a less chaotic morning, and it DOES save time.


6. Create your action list for the next day. There are so many different organizational methods, but I will share what I do. I keep a blank journal, and each January I take several pages to write everything I can possibly think of that I need to do for the year. Obviously, each month I add to this list, but by having one designated spot where I can do a “brain dump” to capture my thoughts my mind stays uncluttered. If you can get a thought out of your brain and onto paper, it reduces stress. I then create a separate page dedicated for each month of the year. When each month comes around, I refer to my “brain dump” pages and transfer any item I need to accomplish to that month. One example. I begin my Christmas gift shopping each year in October, so on the page marked October I write: Buy Christmas gifts. Buying Christmas gifts is on my “brain dump” page, but I do not need to continually write this every day or every month on one big action list, because I know I will not even tackle this until October. So, why would I put it on any other list except October? From my monthly list, I then create a weekly list every Sunday night of the things that need to be accomplished in the upcoming week. Lastly, every night I look at my weekly list and proceed to write down what I will accomplish the next day. This helps me in two ways. First, I know exactly what I need to work on that day, and secondly, I feel a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day when I can check off my completed tasks. If I had to look at my long “brain dump” list every night, or even weekly, I would become overwhelmed. For me, by breaking my tasks down into bite-sized pieces, most nights I can go to bed feeling I accomplished a great deal. By only focusing on my daily tasks, I keep myself from being distracted and randomly hopping from item to item, emergency to emergency, which ultimately would cause me to accomplish little. For me, this system works great. Whatever technique you use, I highly recommend getting it organized the night before so you are ready to hit the road the next morning. (The system I use is from the Bullet Journal website.)


7. If you have children, create the same routine for them as you do for yourself. Lay out their clothes the night before, pack up their backpacks or diaper bag, and set everything by your car keys. If they are older, teach them to start laying out their own clothes and packing up their schoolbooks before they go to bed. You are giving your children a great gift when you teach them to successfully master their own routine.


8. Once everything is packed create an “exit” station by your door. Everything you and your children will need for the next day should be placed there: purse, backpack, briefcase, wallet, coat, umbrella, KEYS (how much time have we wasted looking for lost keys!). If you need to take it with you the next day, then it goes by the exit station the night before.


In the morning:


1. Set your alarm 30 minutes earlier than you think you need. This is important if you tend to run late. We all want more sleep, but those extra minutes of snoozing is usually not worth the trade-off of a frantic and chaotic morning. Any benefit your body has received from the extra rest will usually be eliminated by the stress you cause yourself through an anxiety provoked morning routine. You might be groggy the first week you try this approach, but your body will adjust.


2. Start with a quiet time. There are hundreds of quick devotionals online that can be read in a matter of minutes. I read 3 pages in a chronological Bible each day. This takes about 15 minutes. My heart is filled with a peace and calmness that makes the rest of the morning flow more smoothly. Maybe for you, it is meditating or writing in a gratitude journal. Whatever it might be, take a few moments for yourself to be still.


3. Ok, this is a hard one, but it is ohhhh so worth it! Never Check Email in the Morning, a book by Julie Morgenstern, means just that…never check email in the morning! It is a huge time drain. Go through your morning routine and once you are ready to walk out the door, then dive into your electronic communications. This will be difficult for many people, but if we can recognize how much time we waste reading junk emails or perusing social media to see what others are doing (things that do not help us with our morning routine), we would all become more disciplined in this area. When I am tempted to spend time on Facebook, Instagram, or any other media platform in the morning, I verbally ask myself, “Is spending time on (fill in the blank) going to help me accomplish my goals for today? Is it going to make my morning go more smoothly?” Obviously, the answer is almost always a big NO. These questions help me to refocus.


4. After I have my morning quiet time, I take a few minutes to review my daily task list that I created the night before. This prepares my mind to begin my day.


5. If you are married, and you have the luxury of separate bathrooms (or at least separate sinks) then take advantage of this. Tripping over each other while you are both getting ready can slow you down. Have your own toiletries and everything you need to get dressed. It sounds insignificant, but when you are short on time and must stand next to your spouse waiting for them to hand you the toothpaste, it wastes valuable minutes. My husband and I each have our own floss, face soap, toothpaste, and deodorant, even though we use the same brands. I never have to wait on him, and he never has to wait on me.


6. If you have children, and they are old enough, create a checklist of things they need to do each morning. When they know exactly what is expected of them (brush teeth, get dressed, make bed), it allows them to experience success in their own abilities and organizational skills. It also eliminates that small voice down the hallway yelling, “Mommy, what do I do now?” Which, inevitably, will derail your own morning routine.


I can say with 100% confidence I have nearly eliminated my morning stress by organizing my day the night before. The steps you take to get out the door each day will either be done at night or in the A.M. In the morning, though, there are usually more distractions. Plus, you are fighting against a deadline to start your day, get to work, or drop the children off at school. By organizing the night before, although you might be tired, you are not up against a clock. I feel confident you will be amazed how your morning stress is reduced just by switching your routine from morning to night. For me, it made all the difference in the world!


Together with you,

Lisa Lou