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Do you believe there is a creator behind this painting, or did it create itself? I believe if I polled 1,000 people, 100% would say, “Of course, there is a creator. That’s common sense.” Do you believe there is a Creator behind this picture? If I polled 1,000 people with the same question, stats show I would not receive 100% agreement that there was a Creator behind this picture.

People are returning to work, which means many of us will be navigating changes that would otherwise seem mundane. Elevator etiquette? Did you know there was such a thing? Below are 9 basic reminders when riding the lift. I have thrown in a few exceptions while we live in a COVID world. 

Throughout history we have seen God place people in power that made us say, “What is He thinking?” Yet God clearly reminds us in Isaiah that the way He thinks is far beyond what we can sometimes understand. In a child’s eyes, a parent giving her yucky medicine when she already feels poorly can seem cruel. “Why would Mommy make me take this?” The child lives in her “here and now” moment of life, yet the parent sees the big picture. The mother knows what is best for the child, even when the child does not understand. 

Our 4-part series on living as Christians in a political world was written in response to questions I have been receiving on knowing how to separate truth from lies, when to engage in our political system, and the most effective way to stay informed. In Part 1 we learned the biblical formula for seeking truth. In Part 2 we discussed the importance of knowing your foundation. In this post, Part 3, I will provide you with 7 practical tips I use to find truth in our news driven world. 

We are living in a time where many do not know who or what to believe. It seems our national 24-hour news media seeks ratings more than they seek truth (regardless of which way their bias leans). Many journalists receive bonuses based on how many clicks their story receives, and companies earn more advertising revenue if they can show a high click-through rate on articles. It has become too common to read endless bait-and-switch headlines.

“How do I know what is real? How do I know truth when I see it? I want to stay informed, but where do I turn when I feel every news source is somehow deceiving me?”


Giving you tips on hosting a Halloween party during COVID is sure easier than tackling subjects on news, politics, and finding truth. Yet these are the questions filling my inbox. 

Does this blog seem early? Did you know we only have 10 weeks before we move into December? It is time to start planning!
1. Decide how much you can spend. If you have a $500 budget and 10 people you need to give gifts, then you can only spend $50 a person.

Halloween in 2020 will be different than past years, but there are still ways to enjoy this festive start to the holiday season. This blog may seem early, but October 31st is only 7 weeks away! It is time to start planning. Below are my top 10 ideas for a jovial and happy start to your fall celebrations.

Decor Ideas:
1. Use a decorative wine bucket filled with flowers as your table centerpiece. This works if you have a separate table where you will place the food. If the wine tasting is conducted at one table where your guests are sitting, then you need lower height decorations where everyone can see over the arrangements. Use wine glasses randomly placed down the table with sprigs of flowers in them. 

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today. Her son is in his 20s, and he made it to the final 3 for a job he is seeking. After a one-on-one interview with one of the executives, her son relayed an interesting conversation that had occurred. The executive told him, “You are smart, a go-getter and you know what you are doing, but the thing that has set you apart from the other two candidates is the way you dress."

“The hardest job kids have today is learning good manners…without seeing any.” Fred Astaire. 

 

Women have great influence in their family, and much of the work falls to us to provide each person with the tools they need to succeed. But how can we pass along knowledge that we do not possess? 

Having good manners is common sense. Learning to communicate those manners according to the rules of the road is what is known as etiquette. Put another way: etiquette is the language of manners. Etiquette and social skills are more than knowing which fork to use at dinner. It is understanding the words to speak and when to remain silent.

In Titus 2 God challenges women to mentor other ladies who are entering seasons of life those of us that are older have since passed through. We are to put our pride aside in the name of vulnerability so our friends can learn from our failures and successes. God calls us to teach and guide so “younger women will know how to love their husbands and children…keep a good house, be good wives.” 

 

WHAT??? You cannot be serious!

  • Lisa Lou

Teach Social Skills to Your Family: It Matters




“The hardest job kids have today is learning good manners…without seeing any.” Fred Astaire.

Women have great influence in their family, and much of the work falls to us to provide each person with the tools they need to succeed. But how can we pass along knowledge that we do not possess?

A nearly 100-year-old research study conducted by the Carnegie Foundation, Harvard University, and Stanford Research Center has recently resurfaced. It states that 85% of a person’s success in business is attributed to their “soft” skills, and 15% of their success comes from their knowledge base about their field of study. Soft skills relate to manners, etiquette, basic communication skills, and sensory acuity. If 85% of our success in life is based on how we conduct ourselves, I would argue providing these resources for our family rank high in importance.

As I have contemplated what society terms “good manners” I have often asked myself, “Why do good manners really matter?” I was faced with the challenge of answering this question when our son played youth football. My husband was coach and required the players to address the staff with sir. One of the mothers on the team who had just moved from another state said she did not agree with requiring children to address adults with sir and ma’am. In fact, where they were from, students could call their teachers, and others in authority, by their given name. For the first time, I was challenged to answer the “why” when it came to the importance of manners.

To understand the “why” in soft skills, we need to know the difference between manners and etiquette. “Manners and etiquette go hand in hand but are not the same. Manners are an expression of inner character. Etiquette is a set of rules dealing with exterior form. Manners are common sense...but etiquette is the guiding code that enables us to practice manners. Respect, kindness, and consideration form the basis of good manners and good citizenship. Etiquette becomes the language of manners.” -Encyclopedia.com.



In the United States, more than 300 million people might be on our roads in any given day. With so much congestion on our streets, how do we keep from crashing into each other? One reason. We live by a set of rules. If someone does not live by these rules, there might be serious consequences in the form of a car crash. This could lead to financial hardship, medical tragedies, or even death. The rules (laws) are there to guide us so we do not cause undo harm to our fellow travelers. When we respect the rules, we will not violate the rules, which means we increase our chances of living in harmony with each other.

This same philosophy holds true with manners and etiquette. The Laws of Etiquette, written in 1883, defines etiquette as “a code of laws established by society for its protection against rudeness, and other offences, which the civil law cannot reach.” The book continues by saying “…the civil law cannot punish a man for discourteous behavior, but society can cause him to change his manners by refusing to recognize him.”

Notice how the words “law” and “protection” are used to define etiquette in society. The rules (laws) of etiquette are there to protect us, just like the laws (rules) of the road are there to protect us. Laws cannot force us to change our manners, but society can. If a member of our family displays bad manners, they might find themselves relegated to the children’s table at the annual Christmas dinner. If these poor manners go beyond the confines of the family, that person may find they are no longer invited to social gatherings with friends. If these same manners extend into their business world, they may notice they are gradually losing a voice in meetings, not included in happy hour after work or worse, their financial growth and upward job mobility begins to stall due to the way they conduct themselves.

“…manners (are)…the outward manifestation of one’s innate character and attitude toward life.” -Emily Post. Put another way, manners are nothing more than the Golden Rule, and etiquette is the way we practice that rule. Etiquette is the language of manners. A person’s manners are a direct reflection of their heart.



Cynthia Grosso, owner of the Charleston School of Protocol, uses the visual illustration of an iceberg to describe manners. When we see an iceberg from land, we are only viewing the top 15% of the ice cap. The other 85% is hidden under the water and out of sight. The manners we display and how we behave (the top 15% of the iceberg) is a direct reflection of what is hidden inside our heart (the bottom 85%). By simple observation we can develop an accurate assumption of that person’s beliefs and attitudes based on how they behave, act, dress, and speak. What is in someone’s heart will manifest in their behavior and manners.

Manners is nothing more than the Golden Rule. “Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.” -Matthew 7:12 MSG. Treat others as you want to be treated. And find confidence knowing you might not always remember your grandmother’s etiquette rules, but the condition of your heart, your manners, are the real social skills we need to guide our families down the road of success.

Together with you,

Lisa Lou

P.S. I had one reader post a question to this article asking, “How did you answer the mom in your football story?!?” I really did leave you hanging on that story! So, sorry!

I have a philosophy in life if you bring everything back to its most simple origin, and ask basic questions of the person you are conversing with, you will usually be able to lead people to the answer without feeling you have corrected them in the process. Here is how the dialogue occurred:

Football Mom: “I don’t think we should ask children to use sir and ma’am. In our old school they could call teachers by their first name.”

Lisa Lou: “That’s interesting. Since you brought the subject up, do you mind if I ask you a question? If your child were meeting the President of the United States, how would you have your child address the President?”

Football Mom: “I would have then call him Mr. President or President….”

Lisa Lou: “Would you allow your child to call the President by his first name?”

Football Mom: “Of course not. He’s the President.”

Lisa Lou: “So, by your own admission, you actually DO believe in addressing adults with titles and courtesies, but ONLY if that person is of high enough social status that you feel they are worthy.”

BAM!!!!

It is important to remember the use of ma’am and sir is nothing more than using a title. Ma’am and Sir are titles and speaking to someone by using their title is one way we show respect.

Full disclosure! The follow-up conversation did not actually take place. The other mother and I became distracted during practice and I never had the opportunity to return to her statement. I probably would not have been as confrontational, but I have rehearsed this conversation in my head many times. Maybe another opportunity will arise…😊

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© 2020 Lisa Lou by Kaio

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